Choices?

Hey, it's august already!

Assalamualaikum.

Blogging. I used to blog a lot like 3 years ago. Now it's like we have Instagram & twitter yo! HAHA

Well, you know what is hard? Making decisions. The ones you have to do by hook or by crook. Though you have to do it unwillingly. Though your heart breaks. That's life. It's all about making the right choices. So what if you don't have a choice? What if that is the only choice?

Sad, isn't it. But you just have to do it out of sacrifice. Sacrifice?

"A man who was completely innocent, offered himself as a sacrifice for the good of others, including his enemies, and became the ransom of the world. It was a perfect act."

Mahatma Gandhi

Sometimes there are things you just have to let go due to sacrifices. Though it hurts you so much. You just have to. Some may be happy but some may be not. But at times you just have to do what is right. Though it means letting go, though it means a lot to you. 

One may not understand the sacrifice of others unless one is in his shoes. I guess some people may talk bad of others without even further investigating. You know like how fast rumours spread.

"Poor kid, you know...."
"Hey, I read her posts & they were so tragic, & you know like ......."
"Yarabhi! tauk sik nya nak..."
"AOK! kmk baca status nya tek bha. Kempang ati nya ya..."

Those are the usual words people use to tell stories of others haha!

Well, I don't know why I need to know what others think of.
Let people tell bad stories of you. If they don't know the truth, then they are spreading rumours & fitnah right? Then you get pahala what? HAHA.
The story is one sided. You need to listen to both sides you know.

But usually after hearing both sides as for me, I go all blurry haha! Then I feel pity for both side.
LOL

Well whatever it is, people should not judge without knowing. How if a person makes a decision due to sacrifices. A person has to choose between two. How hard is that?

Though a person has already stood of for his/ her opinion but it is just isn't enough.
Tell me how the world can be such an injustice place?

Heart breaks, time heals?

Anyway, only 7 days left to syawal!

This ain't a good news for me. I don't think I've done enough of the good deeds yet.
HAIH

Need to recharge this Iman so badly. Am so lost


But whatever it is, I'll always dua for the best. I would never dua for bad things. I won't tell others of the bad things. Because if we jaga the aib of others, Allah would jaga our aib too kan?

It may be cruel to do such decision. But one must understand WHY

I strongly believe in Allah & qada & qada. If this is how it is supposedly to be I redha
But it takes time to heal a broken heart.


Allah please give us the heart to carry one. To hold on to what is right. To make the best decisions for us. Whatever happens, I'll accept them as it it.

Kunfayakun

july

Dear July.

Assalamualaikum!

I know i've not blogged anything since well for about 6 months. HAHA
OMG. I do think that I  desperately need to improve my writing because I'll start my dissertation quite soon.

Only a left year of degree, Inshaallah & I'm scared. I need to catch up my CGPAs. The last semester I did pretty bad. Like horrible bad- bad. Gosh I've never felt really disappointed upon receiving results during my diploma days. Receiving my degree results the other day was too shocking.

Well that is the previous semester. As for this semester let us pray that I'll do my best aite? Haha.
Tawakal & doa is all that's left & there isn't anymore! Haha so 'madeline' words.

Currently having my semester break. I must say, there are a lot of dramas as for this semester. I mean I feel like you know, those korean, hindustan & malay movies. As I am the lead actor. LOL

I think i need to blog again. As through blogging I find myself writing all the things I want and I feel at ease. I could polish my rusty grammar & my iman as well.

Happy ramadhan to all muslims! Yeah and the fact that i said starting on every post imma write did you know. Well, did you know that I am now 22? Haha thanks for all the birthday wishes family & friends :)  Alhamdulillah I am still here.

year 2013,

All of a sudden I just have the urge to post something on my blog again. The itch to write is just too

irresistible, you know what I mean? It's the first day of 2013, how can I not post something right? I do 

think that this is the side effect of watching the perks of being a wallflower too? Perhaps. I wish 

I could own a typewriter and write, dear friend, a lot of thing happens this year. It's hard for me to cope 

with certain things. Being too contented, sad and all of other feelings all jumbled up in the moment. I 

often find myself so caught up at the moment. 

If only.

Dear friend. HAHA

Okay let's get things straight. I am currently doing my degree for now in B.Sc Construction 

Management. Oh, do not get me start on that. It's tough for sure. Things aren't sailing too smoothly 

most definitely. But, this is life, Allah has a plan for us. No matter what, I must get through with this 

right? 

So, what happened in 2012? Well let's just say Alhamdulillah :)

I graduated my diploma & had the worst fever during my convocation, I had to endure the pain. I felt 

so feverish that I forgot when was the last time I ever felt that feverish. 

My sister got married :) Now I have a new brother in law :) they are happily married now :)

Zarith just finished his SPM & can now drive a car since he is currently taking his driving licence.

The hotel will be soon opening on the February of 2013. Hoping things will be fine because in the 

making of the hotel it ain't easy my friend, it's a tough business I must say. Soon or later, people are

going to find out about it anyway, a hotel which I think is cosy because why? Because my awesome

mum & dad had their hands on it :) I am planning to sell my cookies there too heehee. This is of course

upon their approval which has been so HAHA

Oh, i am now in a relationship again with my man. Need I say more? Let's just say as long the both of

us know how to take care of ourselves & my parents are okay with that InshaAllah things will be fine.

But as for now, we'll focus on study alright? Hehe.

I am glad things are okay Alhamdulillah. I am glad I have girlfriends of all sorts. Most of the time we 

go out just to eat or shop or some movies. But that is just how girls are. Nenek once told me, "enjoy 

your  life as a virgin because you might not be able to go back where you were before" but still that

doesn't mean all I do is to have fun. 

Balance, that is of utmost importante thing right?

One of the happiest moments in life is not the big things we achieve but simply the little things which keeps us contented and make us smile 

:)

heaven home

Home,
It's obvious to anyone that whenever this word come to our mind all of those good things & homey feeling with family would come across. Most certainly, :J I love home.

chocolate macaroni & cheese feelings b:
yumm

Alhamdulillah, I am in the process of charging my iman, if only iman are available at supermarkets near us i'd buy them because that way, it would be easy peazy to gain our iman! But no, you see, Iman could not be bought nor could it be inherited :') MashaAllah.

energy bars :D 

Sometimes, there are ups and downs of an Iman. I du'a for a steadfast iman & which will keep on increasing not decreasing. I realized that I have changed. Therefore, I need to increase this iman of mine. I am just a servant of Allah & i do realize that I am weak. We humans tend to make mistakes but we could still regret & taubat InshaAllah ;) May Allah guide me in every step of mine , Allah ar-Rahim :)

Repentance :)

Starting from now every blog post would end with a Salam and a fact HAHA! i just love fun-facts :)

Till the next blog post,

Assalamualaikum   :B

#fact1

Meaning of Zulaikha

  

I always wondered what  is the real meaning of my name because  ayah gave me my name mainly because he wants to call me ika, well from what i know that is :B . Most of people tend to laugh at it when it comes to the meaning of my name because we all know, she is  The wife of Prophet Yusof A.S who seduced him before he was her husband. =,= .It's sad that people laugh & tell you're a seducer D':

What makes it difficult is that it is hard to look for the meaning of Zulaikha in Malay.But easy in english :D

So i googled, thanks to mr.googly-goo this it the meaning omg, funny

 زلیخا

so beautiful that people gape in wonderment.

                           

holidays

Holidays have just started! Alhamdulillah wheeeeeeheeee XD but i have this microsoft project class to attend frim 9th to 25th of April oh yeah uh lame--, but still kan holidays! bebas dari segalenyerr haha. Just a short post to say I'm back to blogging! My blog has been abandoned, poor bloggie :( It's okay I'm back, InshaAllah :)

A random picture i saved :B

May our iman increase from day to day :D InshaAllah

Haunted

This blog has been haunted for centuries.Okay that is just exaggerating much! Well it's been almost half a year I didn't update my blog.I miss writing! It's my passion to write. I'm not good at expressing feeling.But I prefer expressing it in my blog. No one would judge. Just let this fingers tap on this keyboard and I'll feel so much better already. 

Year 2012 didn't go well but Alhamdulillah, I'm still breathing. Alhamdulillah, I'm still able to see & hear. What if death is actually getting closer to us without realizing it? Are we ready to face sakratul maut? Inshaallah, I'm scared :( What if I'm not ready? O Allah please give me the strength :')

I was in a relationship in mid 2010 but it ended early 2012. I decided to give up love for Allah. I didn't want to be in a relationship unless I'm married. I'm sorry. As much as I love you, I had to let you go. I'm sorry for being the bad one. But I had to. I choose this path because I do not want the both of us to forget our mighty creator. 

We might not be like other couples, go on a date or touch hand or hug each other. But what I'm afraid of is zina hati . I don't want to even get close to zina. I regret what I did. The both of us always text each other. Of course we pray 5 times a day, read al- quran but deep in my heart i felt guilty. I'm truly sorry. 

Iloveyou but as much as I love you. I realized that I love Allah even more. I just don't want to be because of a lover Allah is forgetted. No, I've never forget Allah in every breath of mine but it seems that in every breathe of mine I am just getting further & further away from Allah. I just want that back where I always tell every story to Allah instead of sharing it to you. I guess I am just not ready yet.It hurts to be like this but I know Allah will show us the way Inshaallah :) I'm sorry I had to be cruel to end all of this. 

I'm sorry.

 To him,

        Please be strong :) have faith in Allah. Everything happens for a reason. I know that you are strong so please, move on my hero :) the world is so much more than this. Forget & Forgive, I beg you please :)

Yours sincerely,

:)

my oh my XD

guess what? I just finished my report! But that's just chapter 1 & 2.HAHA which is like 10% of the whole report. Yet I sounded as if I've finished diploma HAHA =.= ya baruk tuija! HAHA

Work.work. I guess in reality working at construction site can be really harsh.Like seriously. People are always aiming for when they need to get their projects done and thus, the people who are working under them is being under pressured like seriously. I'm just a trainee but they expect us to be like a working engineers. They think we're engineers. I was like.I'm a builder, GET THE FACTS RIGHT.

At that instant moment they ask us to read drawings. To make sure where the piping goes as the plumber needs to install soil,vent and waste water pipe. Loads of expectations. I met a lot of people too, like 1malaysia HAHA. They all play hard and WORK hard TRUST ME. Everytime I reach home I just feel tired. I lost few kilos too HAHA perhaps it's due to non-stop walking and standing for the whole day.. HAHA

I like being at home still. There's Mi Ho.She's just ACTIVE. Hyper I mean.
Alhamdulillah upon everything that has happened.The ups & downs I'll try to make it through.Sorry If I haven't beign able to update at a constant speed as my body needs rest. Busy too.I dislike the fact that my Saturday is being snatched away for work boohoo :(

darker

concreting ot till night like 8pm.

restless

love

naughty fox

I miss luak

empty

McD breakfast ;)

I'm tired

What I'm going to post about is related to my work.So, if you feel it's annoying BACK OFF. I wrote this just to let go of it.
I'M SO FREAKING PFFFT.Whatever.I'm tired.My legs are about to fall off.Seriously. I'm sleepy.Tired.I'm tanned.
17 stumps which has problemS. Super great! The consultant decided that we have to RE-DO the Link!
 OH YEAH. DOUBLE THE JOB! The cost too :) You know the consultant was a friend of Harun, Our senior! We met him just now.Unbelievable. It's amazing how he still remembered us.HAHA
The footings are 2meters below the ground level.For two days all we did was dig the soil.
I feel like fainting today since it was so hot & loads of work to be done.
Because of the stagnant of water in the stump.For 2 weeks it's all about the 17 STUMPS.Bebual nyawa gitok eh!TENSION2.
I have yet to study the drawings.I'm tired.I miss studying so much :(
I'm sleepy.Night

this is miho :)

it's here!

Alhamdulillah,
The internet line has finally come to it's senses! ahaaaa :D Got a new laptop for the house too. Would want a desktop but nowhere to be put :( SAD. Skip that. I'm adopting a can I mean cat aha.Tengok excited sampai salah spelling sudaa ! In a few more minutes I'll pick it up. Choosing names. I want Messi for a HE & Kate for a SHE but Liyana is Kate so skip that. Hermoine? Or Ji Eun haahaa.
I'm excited!
with lotsa never ending love,
ikaika 

written in the stars ;D

check out the lyrics.nice one :D

so it is

Life has not turned up to way i want it to. But that's life. A challenge. Tidaklah beriman seseorang itu selagi tidak diuji :) I know life can be so hard at times. Sometimes when you are living it, it's also a challenge. All of this happens for a reason. I know it because Allah knows best. I don't need anymore flashback. It hurts. No one knows. 

Practical? It's hard. I'm still a student. 19 years old, STILL. Give me some time to adjust to the surroundings. Somehow language seems to be the big barrier for me. I miss my friends at UiTM. I want to hug you guys and just cry. You guys make me laugh when I cry. We use to go things all together and cry & laugh. Then we'd miss home. It's just how things are. I miss you guys :(

People changed. It's sad. I'm sad. Certain things just changed. You were not how you used to be back then. Why are rich people are snobbish seriously. Don't you guys know that Allah can take away you WEALTH anytime he wants? Isn't the QURAN enough to proof all of these? Come on, get a life.Wake  up.I've known you for years. Just because of a bunch of someone you changed? I miss the old you. Seriously. 

I've met someone special. My parents knows about it to & so does my whole family. But let's wait to degree first okay. Planning are importante you know. The future is unsure of but still we could plan. Study comes first.Jihadd :D haha.I'm glad I met him. I know he can guide me, Inshaallah :D Love someone because of his religion & iman inshaallah everything would be alright. He has taught me a lot of life.Thank you for the advices that you've given to me. Thanks for lending your ears when everyone else couldn't

One of my friend was involved in an accident. Please pray for her. Mar, Please be strong & I hope you're okay.She's at Timberland receiving treatment.She's in ICU. She's going to go though an operation again, tomorrow. I miss you.Please be alright, Inshaallah.

Lastly, please Allah give me the strength to carry all of these burden. The load for I can't bear but I'll try I know you'll test not someone who can't carry the burden. I have faith in Allah. For everything happens for a reason. We all are only humans.Tiny humans. But atoms are of course the littlelest things in this universe of course. We are only travelers in this world. The hereafter is for eternity .

holidays.

esplanade miri

 

Friday the 13th

I do not believe  'friday the 13th ' It's superstitious

Little did I know yesterday was actually friday the 13th! Ahaa. 

We went to Miri Esplanade yesterday.It's like a must-go-place in Miri. A 15 minutes drive from town :D I am Zarith's Officially Full time driver.I pick him up from school & bring him to places he WANTS to go -.- Yeah, seriously in my bank account there isn't much savings left there you know like seriously =.= 

Esplanade is nice.Just the way it is :) Oh, Zarith went jogging & I was busy chasing away some birds.Perhaps they are seagulls but I know not much of birds you see ;D Everytime I take their pictures they seem to run away. Are they not fond of me ;( But it was not even closer to close you know -.-

Somehow I do miss Kolej Gading, a bit.Okay much. I miss 0411.The natural ventilation is seriously good. Though at times when it's hot it's HOT .It's the name of my hostel.Dinner time :D till we meet again 

garrr arrr mighty x.o

just

sometimes I feel lost just like this typewriter

once I wish upon the stars

Subhanallah, I want to be able to witness a blanket of stars like these 

Allah's creation is such a beauty & a beautiful wonder to me.It has captivated me.Somehow stars make me go insane.Loco-Roco! It made me realized how small I am in this world which Allah has created. I should be thankful being able to breathe every second in my life. Being able to wake up in the morning.

Alhamdulillah, All praise to Allah

 Someone told me that life is fate & I think that it's too vulnerable & precious too.

 I thank him for that.

Thank you :)

dear mama,

To my dearest SUPER mama.
Since mama loves PINK. So, I'm writing this in PINK.
My mum is a SUPER MUM.
She has been there for me when the world is upsy downsy for me & also at my precious moments when I would feel so happy & feel like jumping so high to the galaxy! OKAY that's just exaggerating much :D
Anyway,
She is my SUPER MUM.My best friend.Everything, I could just spill the beans to her knowing she would always give her support to me endlessly <3 i love u mummy :)
Most of the time I address my mum as mama but at times when I feel like being pampered and wanting to be pampered I'd call her mummy. Then, she would go like stop making that puppy dog face, it doesn't work on me anymore dollina. Then I'll go like OH MAN!


mama.
I'm sorry if I ever hurt your feelings.I'M TRULY SORRY.Not just on this special day but every day. You're so special to me.You're my MUM.No one could ever freakin replace that  name of yours which I have been calling for 19 years now. 


You've planted & nurtured me & my siblings well mama. You always remind me of the world & hereafter. How important it is for me to do good to others.To do charity. To always do amalan sunat & the wajib is of course never to be left out ever.
I always pray you in every du'a of mine mama.Because YOU MEAN A LOT TO ME :)


Thanks mama.
Even the stars in the whole galaxy would not be able to describe how THANKFUL I am to have a  mum like you.All praise to Allah, Alhamdulillah mama :) For ALL OF YOUR SACRIFICES FOR ME.Thank you.I love you mama. 
Since I was small..
For carrying me to pre-school while I'm asleep.Thank you
For waking me up in the morning & waking me up again & again till I'm wide awake.Thank you
For teaching me knowing I'm the hardest to catch up among my siblings as I am a slow learner.Thank you
For cheering me when my result is like hmph don't have to describe that.Thank you
For teaching me the surah for the daily prayer for teaching me to memorize the words in the car every day before going to pre-school in the afternoon.Thank you
For always giving me the support whenever I needed.Thank you
For always involving in my school activities.Like fancy dress day.Where parents would dress their kids in the most fanciest way.Thank you
For teaching & asking us to by hard the surah & hafazan tilawah al-quran when I was in primary school.I got 1st because of you.Thank you
For being there every moment I needed you to be.Thank you
For being there when I won my IID.Thank you.
For sending me to senadin for my driving lesson.From luak to senadin it's far like from Kuching to Samarahan haahaa.Thank you
You see the list goes on & on.
Too much You've sacrificed for me.
LOVE YOU.
SARANGHAE mama :)
iloveyoutobits
eventhough you are faraway now mama.
Do come back safely & bring back souveneirs!

 

i want to go to umrah again:( 

so miss that 

I dedicate this song for you

with love

your daughter,

dollina

hugs & kisses 

xoxo

assalamualaikum

I'm back at home.
Alhamdulillah atas segala nikmat yang diberiNya.
Hambumu berasa bersyukur teramat-amat :D
sujud syukur padaMu Ya Allah :B

too long yet, too soon

FINALS are almost.

OVER :d

mama has gone to europe.

I miss you mama, you left me here ;( 

with finals aisshh 

alhamdulillah, 2 more papers to go before heading to my home sweet home!
I wonder how my room would be like. Would I be able to adapt to the new environment?
Perhaps :) Assalamualaikum, Miri & & home too.Goodbye Kampung Luak, I miss you ;(

raya 2010

kak nina back to 2009.

ika muda haahaa

i miss baking cookies seriously!

eh gambar sesat! haha 

domo & its owner ahaa

juicy :p ngidam buah JAMBUU

That's all for now, till then.

Off to taklimat practical, pray I'll get a good, kind hearted lecturer:D