Haunted

This blog has been haunted for centuries.Okay that is just exaggerating much! Well it's been almost half a year I didn't update my blog.I miss writing! It's my passion to write. I'm not good at expressing feeling.But I prefer expressing it in my blog. No one would judge. Just let this fingers tap on this keyboard and I'll feel so much better already. 

Year 2012 didn't go well but Alhamdulillah, I'm still breathing. Alhamdulillah, I'm still able to see & hear. What if death is actually getting closer to us without realizing it? Are we ready to face sakratul maut? Inshaallah, I'm scared :( What if I'm not ready? O Allah please give me the strength :')

I was in a relationship in mid 2010 but it ended early 2012. I decided to give up love for Allah. I didn't want to be in a relationship unless I'm married. I'm sorry. As much as I love you, I had to let you go. I'm sorry for being the bad one. But I had to. I choose this path because I do not want the both of us to forget our mighty creator. 

We might not be like other couples, go on a date or touch hand or hug each other. But what I'm afraid of is zina hati . I don't want to even get close to zina. I regret what I did. The both of us always text each other. Of course we pray 5 times a day, read al- quran but deep in my heart i felt guilty. I'm truly sorry. 

Iloveyou but as much as I love you. I realized that I love Allah even more. I just don't want to be because of a lover Allah is forgetted. No, I've never forget Allah in every breath of mine but it seems that in every breathe of mine I am just getting further & further away from Allah. I just want that back where I always tell every story to Allah instead of sharing it to you. I guess I am just not ready yet.It hurts to be like this but I know Allah will show us the way Inshaallah :) I'm sorry I had to be cruel to end all of this. 

I'm sorry.

 To him,

        Please be strong :) have faith in Allah. Everything happens for a reason. I know that you are strong so please, move on my hero :) the world is so much more than this. Forget & Forgive, I beg you please :)

Yours sincerely,

:)